You may not have noticed before, but this is International Coaching Week! So maybe you aren’t excited about this, but it has motivated me to share some thoughts about a few qualities that make coaches effective. You may recognize these as the same qualities you have expressed as you “coached” family, friends, children, spouses, partners, or colleagues. Yes, you are all coaches from time to time and have no doubt received the benefits from being coached yourself. As you become more aware of qualities that coaches have learned to practice consistently, you will appreciate why we set aside this week to celebrate coaching and its transformative power.
Coaches know that their clients are capable of creating the outcomes they want. The clients may not know what they want at the moment or have strategies to manifest this. The coach’s job is to ask the powerful questions that will help clarify the clients’ visions and to support them on their journey to get there. For example, a recent retiree may come to me because she hasn’t figured out how to fill those extra 168 hours a week with meaningful activities. My job is not to tell her how to do it, but to help her envision her ideal retirement and take steps to get there. I might share resources or make an occasional suggestion, but the vision comes from her.
As a friend, parent, employer, you have no doubt sat down with someone and asked questions that helped him or her see things more clearly. (The questions are usually open-ended, by the way, requiring more than a “yes” or “no” answer). You may have made a suggestion or recommended some resource but not “prescribed” specific steps to take next.
Coaches are good listeners. They are 100% engaged with what their clients are relating, not thinking about their own similar experiences or how they might respond. They not only hear the words spoken but discern the emotions behind those words. Coach responses may be to summarize or mirror back some of what they heard as an acknowledgment of their client’s experience or to ask further questions for clarification. Coaches do not judge or label.
Friends, colleagues, and others may come to you with their stories because you are a compassionate, nonjudgmental listener. They feel safe and supported by a “coach” like you.
Coaches create a doable action plan with their clients, who commit to taking the steps along the way. Coaches celebrate successes with clients and help them make adjustments when a goal may be taking longer to achieve. I have helped clients create a retirement roadmap for each area of their lives and then set specific goals to move toward their vision.
You as a parent, employer, teacher, or friend may have coached someone in a similar way to help him or her accomplish a goal or make a significant change.
There are lots more coaching qualities and skills I’ve learned through training and practice.
Though I’ve pointed out how we all are called to coach from time to time, a professionally trained coach has the skills, resources, and strategies to do this on a consistent basis following guidelines set up in a coaching agreement with a client. Having completed five years as a “Certified Professional Coach” and three years coaching at-risk students, I appreciate the coaching process and its proven effectiveness to increase productivity, self-confidence, and communication skills and to set and achieve goals.
I, as many professional coaches, am happy to give a complimentary session so that you can see if coaching is a good fit for you. And if you find yourself in a situation where you’re asked to do some spontaneous coaching, I hope you’ll remember to practice the above coaching qualities.