As my big birthday approached this past summer, I contemplated how best to spend it with someone dear to me, surrounded by natural beauty and energy, challenging myself, and setting the foundation for soaring into a new decade. The Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat at the rather remote Ghost Ranch, New Mexico, seemed to meet all my criteria and more. As the flyer said, it provided “a dynamic experiential introduction to conscious aging and the types of inner work important to …becoming a conscious elder. “My husband, George, agreed to join me, though with some concern about the rustic accommodations. The 14-hour drive over two days was filled with beautiful weather and scenery, lots of rest stops, and snacks. We arrived at the tail end of a 4-day music festival that left the ranch somewhat disheveled, but as soon as the gorgeous night sky with Milky Way appeared, all that was forgotten.
The thirteen participants from all over the country and Ireland gathered Sunday afternoon for our orientation by two experienced facilitators, Dennis and Barb. After supper in the large dining hall, we reconvened in the library to learn more about the ranch and to engage in the first of many rituals. Each of us shared our intention for the week while adding a knot to a cord one of us always wore during the week.
Our days were full from 8:30 in the morning until 8 or 9 at night with breaks for meals. After we drummed in, our facilitators introduced a new topic, often through poetry, gave us some time to reflect and journal about it, and then convened a council, where each of us took a turn holding the talking stick while sharing our thoughts. We moved through the transition process from learning about ourselves-our fears, our gifts, our regrets, our history ; letting go of things and thoughts that no longer served us; moving into the unknown on our silent day of solitude; and being welcomed to a new beginning as we arrived in our elder hood.
Rituals and other activities were smoothly integrated throughout, whether inside in our cozy library or outside with the backdrop of Pedernal Hill, Box Canyon, cottonwood trees, gorgeous clouds, a rainbow, and even lightning! Stargazers were enchanted with the constellations and Milky Way most evenings.
The day of solitude was a rare opportunity to be alone in nature – meditating, journaling, appreciating the plant and animal life, walking, resting. I used this time to go through a Death Lodge process with ten “special visitors” and to spend time in prayer and song.
Not surprising, our final day was spent sharing our takeaways and gratitude to our facilitators and each other. We had grown very close. Very important and less common in other retreats was our discussion about reintegration. “How do we integrate this learning into our day to day lives? How do we share our experiences with others?” We each had 60 seconds to articulate how this retreat had affected us. Finally, we closed in our circle with this moving song about our elder years, “May I Suggest” by Red Molly, and blew out our ever-present candle.
We’ve been back home for a month now. Well-rested and reflecting back, I am grateful for this special birthday gift – a perfect beginning to a new decade as an evolving elder. What does that look like to me? I’m living more in “being” energy than in “doing;” connecting more deeply and lovingly with family, friends, and others; practicing greater self-care; expanding my inner wisdom through consistent spiritual practice; and serving and inspiring others as I soar toward 100!
If you’re interested in learning more about the Choosing Conscious Elderhood retreat, contact ron@centerforconsciouseldering.com or Center for Conscious Eldering, 3707 Coronado Ave. Fort Collins, CO 80526