Author Archive: Virginia Berger

FALL 2020- DAY 2 OF THE PANDEMIC

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One of my best discoveries during this Covid-19 pandemic has been Brene Brown’s podcast, Unlocking Us. As I dusted the house this weekend, I was eager to hear her first fall episode – “Day 2,” named for “the messy middle” of the many 3-day intensive trainings Brene and her colleagues have conducted. This “messy middle” is where she believes we are now on this seemingly endless Covid-19 journey. Using this and other metaphors, Brene gave some direction and hope for our Covid-19 situation that I wanted to pass on along with some […]

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Building Something Better

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When I last wrote, about six weeks into the pandemic, our country was in a very different place. Yes, the pandemic is still with us, and even surging, but fewer are dying as we learn more. This crisis was upstaged when the inhumane death of George Floyd sparked hundreds of protests and highlighted deeply ingrained racism Our attention and energy have shifted from “Let’s just shelter in place and get rid of this virus as fast as possible” to “How can we learn from these losses and move forward in community?” While […]

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Musings on the Poem “Trough”

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Poetry has taken up a new place in my heart as I spend more time in reflection, journaling and other mindfulness practices. When I was a younger, I felt pressured when reading poems to come up with some deep, intelligent interpretation of the author’s intent. This actually spoiled poetry for me for many years. Now I can relax and appreciate the feelings evoked, often surprised by how the words describe so vividly and accurately something I and others are experiencing. This happened when my friend Priscilla shared “Trough” with our women’s group […]

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“How Long have you Decided to Live?”

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A friend recently gifted me with a copy of the book I’ve Decided to Live 120 Years-The Ancient Secret to Longevity, Vitality, and Life Transformation by South Korean author, Ilchi Lee. Intrigued by the title, I read it on a recent plane trip. I have never asked or answered the question –“How long have you decided to live?” -in my years of study and facilitation of conscious aging workshops. I wondered why since I encourage creating a vision for how you choose to be as you age. How long you’ll “be” is […]

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Changing Holiday Traditions as we Age

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Ready or not, the holidays are here! You may be excited about celebrating the family traditions, or you may feel stressed and guilty about all the expectations that come with these traditions. As you get older, your level of energy and family situations may change, creating a need to adapt or let go of some traditions, like shopping for every family member, decorating every inch of the house, or preparing a huge feast. Here are some ideas about how you might do that. First, it might be helpful to reflect on the following […]

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Five Work Benefits that Become Retirement Needs

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Retirement has been morphing for the past fifteen to twenty years from a short period of leisure and rest to a much longer period of healthy, active and often meaningful pursuits. One effect of this change is the great need for pre-retirement planning. A helpful place to begin is by considering how to replace the five benefits of work that have become integral parts of our lives: financial compensation, a purpose, a social network, time management, and status. Financial compensation is the work benefit that people know they need to replace in […]

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The Positivity Effect on Relationships as We Age

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Researchers have confirmed that close relationships and social integration – “how much you interact with people as you move through your day”- are the best predictors of longevity and also lead to greater health and happiness. These relationships help us get through the challenges aging can bring with more ease and success. This information, plus my own experiences navigating the complexities of relating to our adult sons, teen and toddler grandsons, and my spouse of almost 50-years, have inspired me to research the changes in relationships as we get older. There are […]

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Wanna Be Complaint Free

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Please know that I don’t believe my dear retired friends and readers complain more than other groups. I do hope, however, that we are interested in looking at our own and others’ complaints and in doing our part to reduce the negativity and divisiveness it promotes. Unity minister Will Bowen, whose goal is to distribute Complaint-Free bracelets to 1% of our world’s population, created the Complaint-Free World Movement. He defines a complaint as– “an energetic statement that focuses on the problem at hand rather that the resolution sought.” Those who take up […]

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Why legacy letters?

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Through my study of conscious aging, I have learned about the legacy we might leave behind, whether financial assets, core beliefs , experiences, or lessons learned. It wasn’t until I heard Rachael Freed at the Sage-ing International Conference, however, that this idea came alive for me in the form of legacy letters. These take our stories, or snippets of them, and extricate the lessons to pass on to others as a blessing. Hoping to inspire you as well , I share a little more about what legacy letters are and the needs […]

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How Can I Retire without my Work Support Team?

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According to the “experts”, five main benefits of work have become needs- income, purpose, time management, status, and a social network. When people plan for retirement, they should consider ways to replace these. As a retiree and a retirement coach, I have discovered a sixth work benefit that, though not as significant as the five above, should also be built into a successful retirement plan – office support services. Depending on the job, office support services might include an administrative assistant, a student assistant, a paraprofessional, a tech support person or team, […]

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