Ready or not, the holidays are here! You may be excited about celebrating the family traditions, or you may feel stressed and guilty about all the expectations that come with these traditions. As you get older, your level of energy and family situations may change, creating a need to adapt or let go of some traditions, like shopping for every family member, decorating every inch of the house, or preparing a huge feast.
Here are some ideas about how you might do that. First, it might be helpful to reflect on the following questions on your own or with family members.
- Is this a tradition that adds to our faith and family life or detracts from it?
- Is it something that adds stress-emotional, financial, or health wise- to any of our family members?
- Has our family outgrown this tradition?
- Can we let go of this for a couple of years?
- How could we modify this tradition to this year’s circumstances?
If you and your family agree that change is appropriate, here are some ways to make that happen. First, ask them for suggestions about how to put a new twist on or simplify the tradition. Encourage language like, “This year we could…”, while avoiding “but we always…” Try a new experience together that would be simpler, more age and situation appropriate, and could become a new tradition. Examples might be arranging or contributing to a food drive, trying new healthier recipes, going to a holiday play or community sing along together, dining out or ordering in, or following a holiday tradition from another culture.
Gift giving is a tradition that can cause a lot of financial and emotional stress and be physically taxing as well. Maybe this year everyone can agree on giving gift cards that match the recipients’ special interests. Some families have moved from giving gifts to giving experiences, such as a weekend parent getaway with you as the babysitter, a day together at the zoo, or a special lunch or dinner with a grandchild or favorite aunt. Drawing one name from the family to give a gift to rather than trying to gift everyone alleviates a lot of the expense, especially if you suggest a price range. And making simple handmade gifts
might be a fun thing to try. Or perhaps giving to a favorite charity in the name of a family member would be most appreciated. Try to be help older family members with their shopping or actually provide them with gifts to give their “grands.”
Even if you’re not ready to change the holiday traditions this year, I hope this article has raised your awareness around them and given you some ideas for the future. Wishing you joy, wellness, love, and appreciation throughout the holidays.